I Always Come When You Call
by MusketWriting
Summary: After binge watching Supernatural, I couldn't cope with 6.20 and so this was born :D Castiel is so lost, he wants to believe he is doing the right thing, but can he do it anymore? Now he's gone to reason with Dean, why won't the stubborn man listen to him? All he wants to do is fix things.


"I always come when you call, Dean. I have done everything that you have asked of me, everything. So, I am asking you, the one time I ask for something, just trust me."

"How can I ever trust you again Cas? You lied to me, about everything, about Crowley!" Dean shook his head at the angel standing before him defeated. "You have to stop this, its madness. We'll find another way, together, please Cas."

"You don't understand," Cas exclaimed in a rare show of emotion, "Raphael is strong, stronger than me, stronger than you, and anything you've ever faced before. If I don't do this then he will kill me, bring the apocalypse back into the timeline and decimate the Earth. I can't let everything we worked for, all we struggled and lost for, be overturned like this. I can't do that to you Dean, I just can't"

Taken aback by the passion in the shorter man's speech, it took Dean a moment to formulate a response, fixing his eyes on the stupid shiny blue tie the other was always wearing and had never failed to annoy him.

"I never asked you to do this for me Cas! Because you didn't ask me, you've got to talk to me about these things. You can't just go off all vigilante and work with the bad guys, we would have found a way to help, you know us, it's what we do. If you die pulling off this stupid stunt, then all we lost and struggled for as you say would be for nothing anyway! You are part of what we fought to save!"

A pale sliver of moonlight managed to work its way through the red painted symbols daubed liberally on the window and cast a silvery shadow across Cas' face, as he stared dumbfounded at Dean.

"Where were you when I needed to hear that?" he murmured softly.

"No Cas, where were _you_?"

The angel barely suppressed the urge to flee, taking an aborted half step backwards away from the accusation that even he, despite being emotionally naïve, could clearly see in the green eyes staring intently at him.

"I… you were happy Dean. You had moved on, I've never seen you like that before. For once you didn't have to worry about where the next danger was going to be, when the next threat to your life was going to crash through the door. You had a partner, a child, I know that's what you always wanted. I just, I couldn't take that from you, I couldn't ask more of you than I already had."

"You think I was happy? Happy! God you're just like Sam." Dean shouted, swiping a hand angrily through the air between them before brusquely scrubbing his hair with it. "My brother had just jumped into actual hell with Lucifer and Michael, trapped forever and suffering while I was left alone up here. Sure, I went to stay with Lisa, but only because I promised Sam I would live a normal life once he was gone. I was an absolute mess Cas, barely holding myself together at any moment, waking screaming from nightmares, unable to be truly happy without him, without you!"

Tears were brimming on his eyelashes, threatening to fall every time he blinked as he thought on the living hell that had been his life for the past year. He honestly didn't think he would still be standing there in the world of the living if it hadn't been for Lisa's unwavering support, he would have gone out and found the most dangerous of all jobs he could, and most likely make some kind of stupid mistake to get himself killed. Every day he had spent teaching Ben about his baby, or playing catch in the park, he would always hear Sam's voice calling out to him, or catch a glimpse of Cas' stupid beige trench coat out of the corner of his eye and his heart would break all over again. He had kept going though, because his baby brother's tearful face from those last moments would pop into his head, and he would fight to carry on, for him.

"Dean," Cas breathed, he had been unaware of how deep the hurt ran within his, dare he call him friend still, after the way he had treated him? "I had no idea, I wanted to go to you so many times, I wanted it so much, but I couldn't bring myself to. That's when Crowley… he approached me. I was standing in the garden, watching you rake up the leaves, looking peaceful and I almost called out to you, I was so close to doing it. Something stopped me and then Crowley told me his plan, I agreed because I thought it was the only way to save heaven, to save you! But now…" he turned away from Dean, feeling his stare burning holes in his back as he stared pensively at the floor.

"Now what?" Dean's voice was barely above a whisper, the sound of his footstep echoing on the hard wood floor as he took a step closer.

"Now, I'm just so lost Dean," finally he worked up the fortitude to meet the elder Winchester's gaze with his own troubled frown, "I have had no word from God, no guidance, not even a whisper. I am trying to do the right thing, I have hope that I have picked the right path, no I have faith that I am, but it is becoming harder and harder to convince myself. Especially when I had to lie to you Dean, every time I mislead you, I felt a strange pang that I was unfamiliar with strike me in the chest and I faltered, I felt this need to tell you everything but I couldn't. Heaven is in turmoil and I am just not strong enough Dean, I can't fight Raphael, I can't keep you safe… I'm so sorry."

"Cas."

"No Dean, you are right. I don't deserve your trust after the way I have treated you. I… ought to leave I – "

A large hand landed gently on his trench coat clad shoulder, making him jump slightly in surprise. He could feel the heat on his skin, comforting and warm as gentle pressure prompted him to turn and face the taller man. Strong arms wrapped themselves around his narrow shoulders and pressed him against a broad chest. He found his cheek resting against a soft cotton shirt and his hand moved of its own accord to grip tightly at the material, face beginning to crumple with emotion.

"Dean wha-?"

"Shh Cas," was all he got in response, Dean hushing him and tightening the embrace he had wrapped the smaller man in. "It's okay, just take a minute"

Cas wondered if this was what Sam felt whenever he was wrapped in the same hug by his elder brother, goodness only knew it happened often enough, after every close call, every close shave with death they met. He had always wanted to feel the same comfort from his own brothers, but angels weren't really known for touchy feely expressions of emotion, once when he was younger, he had toddled over and raised his arms, only to be pushed away as a nuisance. So, this was a novel experience for him, one he would remember for the rest of his eternity. Tears began to well in his eyes and before he knew it, he was weeping quietly in his friend's arms, all the uncertainty and confusion of the past year finally becoming too much and overwhelming him. With his other free hand, he reached up and returned the embrace, squeezing tightly.

The only indication Dean had of the smaller man's tears was the slight shuddering he felt beneath his fingertips across the man's narrow back, and the damp spot that was growing by the second on his t-shirt. Even at the most intense moment of the apocalypse saga the previous year, he had never seen the angel display such emotion and to be honest, it was a little bit frightening, they had joked many times over the year that he was the equivalent of a human toddler but now he was seeing how wrong they were, how much they had underestimated the man that had always been before them. Thinking on it now, they had really taken advantage of the angel in so many ways, any time they had any sort of issue they would call on him to fix it, to heal them, to help them. And what had they given in return? Nothing.

Although, as he had pointed out to Cas earlier, he hadn't given them the opportunity to, keeping all the stress and worry to himself until they ended up here, at his breaking point.

"Dean! Are you okay!"

Sam came crashing through the door in a rush of gangly limbs, taking no care that the doorknob slammed into the wall with a force enough to dent the wall behind it. Stopping short at the sight before him, he opened and closed his mouth a few times in shock, anger and confusion welling up inside him in equal measure.

"It's alright Sammy, everything's all good." Dean assured him, feeling Cas tense up in his arms, and he made sure that he didn't release him even slightly, despite the slightly manic look in his brother's eyes.

"What the hell Dean!" Sam cried "he can't be trusted and you're… hugging him! He's working with Crowley for God's sake!" He faltered only slightly in his tirade, his confusion at the situation seeping through slightly at the sight of his brother and the angel.

Dean fixed Sam with the most unimpressed head tilt he could manage over the top of Cas' head. Lips pursing and eyebrows drawing together in a frown, "Not now Sammy."

"Yes _now_, Dean"

Cas finally pushed Dean away, rapidly stepping backwards into the dark of the corner. He tipped his gaze to the floor and wrapped his own arms around himself. "Sam is right Dean, I cannot be trusted, I don't trust myself let alone ask someone else to trust me. I should just go, get out of your hair and sort out this whole mess I've created."

Raising a hand with one finger extended, Sam opened his mouth and then closed it, lowering his hand again with confusion. "Was Cas? Were you? Crying?"

"Cas it's okay," was all that Dean said, waving a frustrated hand at his brother and holding the other one out towards the angel huddling in the corner. "We're all going to sit down together and work this out. You, me, Sam and Bobby. You just explain everything to them the way you just did with me, and all will be fine."

Castiel very hesitantly reached out and placed his hand in Dean's larger one, allowing the man he considered more of a brother than any of his family to tug him closer to them.

"Sam" Cas began hesitantly, "I _was_ the one to raise you from perdition"

Immediately the taller brother's face fell into an anguished half scowl, half frown.

"Just let me finish," Cas pleaded lowly, "I was arrogant you see, we had just won the war, prevented the apocalypse and I thought I could do it. That_ I_ alone was powerful enough to bring you back, so I made the arduous journey into the cage and freed you from the torment of Michael and Lucifer. I could not bear the thought of you down there suffering."

"Then why?" Sam asked tearily, trademark puppy dog eyes making an appearance.

"Believe me, if I had known that I had left the most important part of you, the part that made you the Sam I got to know and appreciate, behind, then I would have gone back immediately. It wasn't until much later that I realised my mistake, what my arrogance had wrought, but I had no means to fix it. Raphael is simply too strong, and it took all my power just to keep him at bay, away from you two."

"Sam, go and fetch Bobby." Dean ordered, "he needs to hear this too"

He led the angel over to the settee and pressed him to sit down with his hands on his shoulders, before taking a seat next to him. Resting a comforting hand on his knee he attempted to reassure him. "Cas look, you know us, we've made so many mistakes over the years, and goodness knows we should have been cut off by everyone we know, hell we started the apocalypse Cas! But they didn't, they stood beside us the entire time, risked their lives to help us and you know what, you were one of them. So, while we may get mad at you, and disagree wholeheartedly with everything you've done, we will never hate you, never turn you away, ever."

"What's goin on in here you idjits? Its three in the morning and we only just got over the whole Cas is Lex Luthor thing, so I would rather be in bed than down here, Cas!" Bobby followed Sam through the door, mouth moving a mile a minute as usual in a verbal vomit, before he came to a sudden halt in the middle of the floor, and was nearly bowled over by Sam who crashed heavily into his back.

"Bobby," Cas managed evenly.

"What the hell are you doin back here?" he exclaimed with a frown.

"For what it is worth, I am sorry"

"Yeah you idjit, you had better be, I don't like being taken for a fool," Bobby exclaimed, tipping his hat further back on his head, "but we all make mistakes, I'm just glad you've come to your senses lad," he patted Castiel on the knee a few times and wandered over to the kitchen in search of beer.

"Is that it?" Sam asked, slightly bewildered at how calmly the older man had just accepted Cas' presence, and his apology. "He just says I'm sorry and you're fine with it!"

"Look, if I held a grudge over every stupid decision certain young men in my life made, I wouldn't ever have anyone to talk to. Life is short, especially _our_ lives, it ain't worth wasting on pettiness. If he's sorry then he's sorry, look at the state of him Sam, he's suffering for it. At this point, he's as much a part of this, god help us, messed up dysfunctional family of ours as you are."

Bobby pressed a bottle of beer into Sam's hand, making good use of the temporary distraction to herd the young man further into the room, taking a seat of his own in one of the armchairs.

"Well enough of this sappy stuff, what are we gonna do about big bad and sad here?" he asked gruffly, gesturing with the neck of his bottle to where Cas was still slumped on the settee, looking like a kitten someone had left out in the rain.

"Do about him?" Dean questioned darkly, "what exactly do you mean by that Bobby?"

"Well we can't exactly just let him leave and go straight back to bigger, worse and ugly, now can we? Dean he's tryin to open a door to Purgatory, and we all know just about how well that's going to turn out. The answer is up shit creek and Cas threw away the paddle. He's teetering on the brink and one strong gust will tip him back over. It's like an addict yearning for their next fix, he ain't gonna be satisfied until he's got the thrill of plotting again Dean, you know that!"

"Hell no, Cas isn't some kind of druggie Bobby!" The angel sitting next to him flinched at the sudden raised voice as Dean shouted from beside him, it wasn't surprising that the usually quite volatile man had finally reached the limits of his patience.

When it came to insults towards his person, Dean was unfailingly unflappable and could be relied upon to shoot back the most awful of comebacks, accompanied invariably by a slightly baffled recoil of the head and an insulted frown. On the other hand, if you are ever brave enough or stupid enough, god forbid, to insult his brother or one of his friends, then it's a whole nother ball game. Cas had only borne witness to it himself once or twice, but that had been enough to get a perfect read on the situation, and Dean's character. Say anything slanderous at all about Sam and you would find yourself getting quite well acquainted with Dean's fist, feet and gun, not necessarily in that order.

But Dean was undeniably a good man, he was quick to defend his friends from any danger or harm, be that physical or emotional, as the incident in the diner had proven. Being ignorant of most human etiquette and patterns of behaviour, he had unintentionally caused offence by ignoring the man beside him when he requested he pass the mustard, and then telling him politely to fetch it himself once he had realised. That had apparently been the wrong answer, for the next thing he knew, the man had him by the lapels and was dragging his vessel from the booth. He had barely a second to register the imminent danger before Dean was between them, pressing Cas behind him and shoving the other man roughly away. After stumbling away a few steps, the man had seemed all the more enraged and likely to launch himself at Dean this time, but all it took was a stern look from Dean and a gruff, "Back off," for him to subside.

Yet underneath the intimidating, grouchy exterior, Dean was a caring and sensitive soul, who was enthusiastic about his job and keeping his family safe. To be honest, Cas was surprised that after all he had done in the past year, he still counted for so much in Dean's eyes to be protected in such a way still.

"Well, what is he then?" Cas snapped out of his ruminations at the sound of Bobby's voice, and raised haunted blue eyes to observe the rest of the room.

"He's a damn good friend Bobby and you know that. But you've got a point"

Shocked and hurt, Cas turned to face Dean on the settee. A slight edge of wild panic and fear entering his eyes, for he knew what these men were capable of, had helped them take out some scary opposition, but to be honest, they would have succeeded with or without his input. If this was the end of the line for him, then it was the best and worst possible place for him to die. Surrounded by the few people he considered his friends, nay his family, in a place he had nothing but fond memories of. That is the best way to end his existence in his opinion. But he also firmly believed it would shatter his young heart into pieces to have to watch Dean thrust his angel blade through his chest, seeing hatred and rage marring his best friend's features in his last moments, no he couldn't bear it.

"Dean," he murmured timidly, reaching a trembling hand out to his left.

It was immediately seized by a larger, warmer one and Dean gave it a comforting squeeze, briefly turning to meet his eyes in reassurance.

"Whatever's going through that wackadoodle head of yours, stop it now. I said he had a point, not that I was going to murder you, which given the expression on your face when you looked at me, is what you were thinking." With an exasperated sigh, Dean slouched back into the settee and scrubbed his face with his palms, elbows resting on his knees, before running his hands through his hair and then pressing his knuckles to his lips in thought. "Bobby's right in that we can't just let you go back to Crowley, Cas. You're messed up, you clearly can't tell what is right and wrong, so you need someone there to do it for you. I suppose we have no choice, Sammy?"

"Dean no, no." Sam's shocked, horror laced response drew bemused looks from the other men in the room, "you can't be serious."

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

Studying the raised eyebrow and set jaw of his brother, Sam knew instantly that his brother was deadly serious about this and any further argument with him would be futile, Dean could be a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be. That didn't mean that he was going to take this lying down, for as hard-headed as his brother was, Sam could be more so, especially when it came to his seat in the Impala.

"You look quite serious Dean, but about what I am unsure," Cas interjected from beside him.

"You are going to be coming with us." Dean answered simply.

"But I do come with you, whenever you call, I am there," the angel reiterated, baffled by the others statement of what he considered to be the obvious, and actually no change from their present arrangement.

"That's not what he means Cas." Sam murmured quietly, smiling weakly at him.

"I mean come with us as in, permanently. Like sit in the Impala while I drive, and Sam complains about the awesome – "

"Terrible"

"- music. Shut up Sam. No zapping in and out or flying off alone to take care of this or that business, and most definitely no keeping anything to yourself. We're family Cas, we don't keep secrets from each other, we share the burden and deal with it together alright, that's the Winchester way."

"You want me to travel with you both. To be a… a hunter?" The shock was written plainly across his face as he looked between the two brothers he had come to see as his closest friends, no, his family. He even flicked his eyes briefly to Bobby and noticed he looked just as stunned, if not more so. "Are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure about something Cas." Dean nodded, "we'll get you back on the straight and narrow, well, as straight as we can ever get, given we make it our business to go around impersonating FBI agents and running credit card scams," he chuckled at the thought.

"Then, I accept. If it is alright with you Sam?" Castiel felt it best to ask the younger Winchester his opinion on the matter, given not only his reaction earlier but also that he would be intruding on the time the brothers were able to spend with each other. He would regret it if his presence was the catalyst of a rift between the two.

"Cas I," Sam paused, huffed a small breath and dropped his shoulders slightly, "thanks for asking, but I really don't mind. It'll be nice having you around, might stop us bickering so much you never know."

"Then I gratefully accept your offer Dean," he smiled softly, "I am looking forward to sharing this experience with you both."

"Right," Bobby exclaimed, slapping his hands down on his knees with a loud clap, effectively drawing all attention back to him, "now I'm serious this time, enough with all this emotional crap. Everything's sorted now, feathers here is gonna stay with us so he doesn't go to the dark side, we're all going to figure out a way to stop that bastard Crowley and help Cas put an end to the war with Raphael, yes?"

He was given a few mute nods from the boys and gave a hum of satisfaction.

"Good, now I don't know about you lot, but I'm starved and pretty much fed up of tinned food for this week. How about Cas and I head out on a supply run, pick up some burgers and snacks for a movie night? And no Dean I won't forget the liquorice." Bobby rolled his eyes at the smug smirk on Dean's face as he jutted his chin towards his brother in victory, their long running argument over the perfect movie snack was infamous in the Singer house. "What do you say Cas? Ready to start pulling your weight in this operation?"

"I would like nothing more," Cas smiled.


End file.
